I’ve got to get back into the habit of going around corners leading with a stiff arm thrust forward and a palm held up, like an old-time leather-helmeted football player carrying the ball. Usually the worst that can happen is that I’ll pie-face someone coming around the corner. But it’s better than the alternative.

“Sure, we sit around and rip on people at lunch. We’re like the Algonquin Round Table. I’m a regular Dorothy Parker. Except I’m not a woman, or a famous writer, or even that witty. But I do drink a lot and sleep around with men.”
“This fish is ridiculous. I haven’t seen anything so battered since [...]

Found via WFMU’s Beware of the Blog, an interview with some Brazilian guy arrested for drunk driving, remixed and set to a beat. And damned if it isn’t catchy! Hands down, this guy is my new favorite MC. The world needs a new Ol’ Dirty Bastard, and this guy is drunk enough to get the [...]

“Peeling a label off a bottle is like seducing a woman. You have to coax it slowly and gently, but when in doubt, use your knife.”
“That guy’s teeth are so crooked they look like a row of knocked-over Jewish tombstones. It looks like neo-Nazis vandalized his mouth.”
“Yeah, I know you’ve got video of me bleeding [...]

I forgot to mention the best part of our boat cruise. I practically had to run to work yesterday morning to tell my co-worker Chris what he’d missed, since he’d been off vacationing in Florida at the time. I’d forgotten to tell him about the popped collar incident.