My two-day fencing clinic this weekend would have gone better if I hadn’t stank up the joint so much. I don’t mean that I’m bad at fencing. I mean I literally stank. I got talked into going at the last minute and didn’t get a chance to wash my gear before Friday night’s regular practice [...]

When I was in university, you couldn’t get through a Thursday night at the student pub without hearing James’ “Laid”. For all I know, they’re still playing it. Playlists at student pubs never seem to change. Here’s something other than the one James song everyone knows, an old favorite that popped up on random on [...]

I dig Nick Lowe, especially the distinguished, laid-back, cool old guy he’s evolved into. Take a look at the cover of his album The Convincer and see if you don’t say, “Damn, that’s a distinguished, laid-back, cool old guy.” But here’s one from when he was a cool young guy–the closest thing he ever had [...]

“I still think the Realdoll company should make a tiny baby-shaped model.”
You should furnish your new apartment in Seattle to be an exact replica of the one on Frasier, right down to the extent of shipping your dad out there and shattering his knee.
As long as I have a puppy and a van, I should [...]

I’d gladly pay the sum of at least one dollar in exchange for a lap dance from Alaskan songbird Jewel during her ill-conceived, booty-shaking “Intuition” period. I’m on the record with this, because, presented with the prospect of a visit to the Champagne Room with Miss Kilcher (who, after recently having been dropped from her [...]

Jay and I had this AIM conversation the other day, which reads kind of like the script for Things I Shouldn’t Have Said: The Movie. (Bruce Dern is attached to star.) You may not want to read this if you are related to me or would like me to make you a sandwich at any [...]

Poor Slick. You guys won’t even let him eat his yardbird in peace. One question, though: Isn’t that a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken, and if so, what KFC bills you at the end of the meal?
Incidentally, the first time I ever used “YouTube” as a verb, it was in the sentence, “I’m totally going [...]

In which a putatively humourous e-mail forward is examined with a critical eye, rather than deleted summarily.
The Joke:
> A few days before Jack married Wendy, he had
> her name tattooed on his penis to show her
> how much he loved her. When erect, the name was
> fully visible; when deflated, it read Wy.
> After [...]

By special request (from this Comics Journal thread on unintentionally sexual comics):

Here’s why I don’t feel too bad about posting a fairly static fan-made video instead of an official, band-sanctioned one. The Replacements’ “Bastards of Young” is about the most static band-sanctioned video ever made; consisting of just a shot of a speaker playing the song, it was essentially a big “up yours” to MTV. Great [...]