Make sure you cross items off your wish list as you get them. My family now does a secret Santa thing organized via the internet so we don’t have to buy for as many people anymore; this also means that each of us gets fewer gifts — just one or two at most. So, when [...]

So, how many guys read the news about Britney Spears’s 16-year-old sister Jamie-Lynn being pregnant, nodded, and thought, Yeah, I’d hit that? (I mean, how many other guys?)
Fact is, someone sure hit that. I didn’t buy it at first; after all, the same rumour went around about Hannah Montana star Miley Cyrus only a few [...]

“With stupid people, you have to sometimes remind them they are stupid, or they might try to do something smart. It’s like when you see clown trying to do surgery. You have to say, ‘Hey! Put scalpel down!’”
– Zurab, the Georgian guy in my fencing club, on why he yelled at his boss today

“I’m going to take some classes,” announced my housemate Toula. “Public speaking and keyboarding.”
“Oh, typing?” I asked.
“What?” she exclaimed. “I wanted to learn how to play the piano!”
“Keyboarding is another word for typing,” I said.
“Oh! Thank God I talked to you!” she said.
“Heh heh,” I said. “Yeah, good thing.”
“That sucks! I know how to type. [...]

Ike Turner died today.
He leaves a complicated legacy. On the one hand, he was arguably the most infamous domestic abuser in pop culture’s history. On the other, he was arguably the inventor of rock and roll. Where Ike went, arguments followed.
Coincidentally, I was just looking at his official home page a couple of weeks ago. [...]

[01:49] jaypinkerton: No Country For Old Men looks good.
[01:49] jaypinkerton: I’ll probably check that out this weekend.
[01:49] Ruddy Ruddy: That’s got Matthau and Lemmon in it, right?
[01:49] Ruddy Ruddy: I’d go see No Country for Grumpy Old Men.
[01:50] jaypinkerton: That’s because you’re an idiot.
[01:50] jaypinkerton: Remember? How we talked about this [...]

Candace sent this to me, and I laughed until I thought was going to puke.  “I was trying to piss you off, but I think I probably made your day with that,” she said. She was right. It’s not even a good portrayal of a mentally handicapped person, by the standards set by Leonardo DiCaprio, [...]

Yes, this is really him rocking the mic, during the lamentable Dr. Landy years. The production is by Matt Dike of the Dust Brothers, though I would have guessed it was Jive Bunny and the Mastermixers. This was not a good idea. Sometimes it’s hard being a fan.

What a liar I am. Having had to replace my hard drive this summer and losing most of my collected MP3s, I swore up and down that I wasn’t going to make another Christmas music compilation. Then Candace forwarded me a track that I thought was perfect. And then I ran across a couple of [...]

[17:52] Peter: Ah, Bruce Vilanch. My least favorite fantasy is him and Harry Knowles covered in peanut butter and giving double penetration to Rosie O’Donnell.
[17:53] Susan: now why, WHY, WHYYYYY would you say that to a girl?
[17:53] Susan: my brain just left on vacation
[17:53] Susan: it refuses to go near that one
[17:54] Peter: It will [...]