Next to Maxime Talbot’s “superstars, like me!” commercial, my favorite commercial for the last few months has been this one for a restaurant called Bill’s Sticky Fingers in Portage La Prairie, Manitoba. I only see it if I’m up late at night watching a CITY-TV feed from out west, and when I do, the sheer excitement of it keeps me awake for another few hours until the adrenaline wears off.

Why do I love it? Because while my Google powers reveal that it actually got an honourable mention in the TVB Retail Commercial Awards, it’s simply the worst thing I’ve ever seen. It’s so cheap. The lady in it so old. The kids are so fat. The dog-with-voiceover-having-a-fantasy sequence is ridiculous. And you can see the fat guy holding the door for the dog just standing there and feeling stupid and self-conscious that the camera is on him. Even the name of the restaurant is kind of disgusting. It’s fantastic. Every time I see it, I shout “Yes!” and pump my fist along with the fat kids.

I keep vowing to someday put this on YouTube, but to my delight, I discovered tonight that someone just did it a couple of weeks ago. I can’t believe there’s no comments at YouTube as of this writing. And only 22 views. This deserves to be the next overnight internet sensation. Bill’s sales should go through the roof because people are laughing at his shitty commercial, with people making pilgrimages to Portage La Prairie just to enjoy delicious ribs ironically.

Every time I’ve seen it since last September, I’ve excitedly reported to my girlfriend over MSN that it’s on. Now that she’s finally seen the YouTube video, here’s the conversation we had:

[02:34] Candace: This does not make me feel good - to know that something this retarded does it for you. I didn’t have to try so hard.
[02:35] Peter: No, you really didn’t.
[02:35] Candace: *lets self go*
[02:36] Peter: Oh, perfect. Now that you’re fat, we can go to Bill’s Sticky Fingers for dinner.
[02:36] Candace: “Yessssss!”
[02:37] Peter: *fist pump*

And without further ado, here it is:

There’s such a hopeful tone in that poor dog’s voice at the end. They cut at the right time. He’s going to be so disappointed. They so obviously didn’t bring him any leftovers. As Candace points out, “By the look of it, those kids don’t leave any food behind.”