Say what you want about the Theory of Relativity, but the smartest thing Albert Einstein ever did was buying five identical suits. By doing this, the story goes, he never had to worry about what to wear to work ever again, thus freeing up extra brainpower for contemplating the mysteries of the universe. (Of course, [...]

Let me tell you about the mother of a stubbing I gave my toe. But at least there was a silver lining. I mean that literally. A couple of years ago, I sheared too far to the right while walking through a  doorway and accidentally penalty-kicked the doorframe beside it, splitting the nail of my [...]

It’s become a leitmotif of this site that the KFC around the corner from my house is possibly the worst-run franchise ever. Why continue to patronize them? Because when you’re playing just one more turn of Civilization IV, and then one turn more, and suddenly the stomach is rumbling, the grocery store is closed, and [...]

There was a young guy on the subway today with long hair that was obviously meticulously brushed forward to achieve a messy look. I wanted to slap him until it was neat. This isn’t really fair of me, I know. He was really just minding his own business — well, he was spending an inordinate [...]

I found a $20 bill in my pants pocket today, but then I locked myself out of my house and had to break back in through a window. Then I thought I saw Dan Aykroyd on the subway, but it turned out it was just a tall, fat guy. Even steven.
My luck would be evenly [...]

[00:56] Peter: You do have a flair for unnecessary dramatics, if you will.
[00:57] Susan: That’s how I live my life. Don’t try to change me, baby.
[00:58] Peter: I wouldn’t dream of it. The world needs its drama queens, and you’re better qualified than most. What with the degree in drama. And the royal blood. (You [...]

All right, listen up, you. I know you’re arguably the greatest Toronto Maple Leaf in history, if not on the ice, then at least on paper. You’re first all-time in goals and points scored in the long history of the franchise, after all. You’re a model of consistency, good for at least 70 points a [...]

Oh, speaking of my old GW buddies, your favorite defunct internet humourist Jay Pinkerton sent this to me today. “I don’t know whether you should feel honored or insulted that I thought of you when I saw this,” he said. “Probably insulted, just to be safe.”
I can’t be that insulted. I wondered today if Luna [...]

Somewhere in my move to WordPress, my blogroll went missing in action. Someday, some way, I’ll get it back up and running, and yes, you’ll be on it. Every one of you. But I’ll especially make a point of including two former editors of my old university humour rag, Neil Pasricha and Matt Blair, who [...]

Found, via James Mirtle, an ESPN story about Tampa Bay Lightning defenceman Dan Boyle by … Dan Boyle. (At least, that’s what the byline says. At the bottom, it indicates that Scott Burnside wrote it.) To crib from my comment at Mirtle’s site, I like the potential for self-promotion this offers. From the article:
Boyle, a [...]