Archive for the 'Uncategorized' Category
Dollarama decor of the damned
If you’re like me, your house is already full of cobwebs, so you’ve been all set in terms of Halloween decorations for months. If not, you still have time to run down to the dollar store and pick up a few things. Here’s some of what’s available:
With the number of monsters on tricycles out there [...]
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Caller: Hi! This is Frank from Lifestyle Vacations! How are you?
Me: From what vacations?
Caller: … Hi! This is Frank from Lifestyle Vacations! How are you?
Me: Lifestyle Vacations? What is that — some kind of nudist colony?
Caller: Uh, no, sir.
Me: Well, exactly what kind of lifestyles do you cater to?
Caller: [click]
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It’d be downright refreshing that international playboy and Jon & Kate Plus Eight paterfamilias Jon Gosselin is stepping in to end The Learning Channel’s exploitation of his children, if it didn’t have something to do with his estrangement from his wife, the subsequent truncation of the reality show’s name to Kate Plus Eight, and the [...]
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Drawing flies
Since we moved in, we’ve had a chilly relationship with our upstairs neighbors. They once snubbed me at the corner store while we were both buying bags of ice. It doesn’t get chillier than that.
It’s probably our fault. And when I say “our fault”, I mean that it’s my girlfriend’s fault. My neighbors may be [...]
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“Hey, want to hear Bill Cosby talk about the dentist?”
“Not really.”
“I’ve got a YouTube video, but it’s way over there on the computer. So, instead, I’ll just do my impression of what I think Bill Cosby sounds like when he’s talking about the dentist:
‘I would like to talk to you about [...]
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Yesterday I noticed a huge cobweb in the corner at my fencing club, so, not wanting to actually touch it with my hands, I used a two-by-four from a nearby lumber pile to clear it away. Then I slung the two-by-four over my shoulder, stuck a thumb in the air, stomped around, and brayed a [...]
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I love you, John Hughes
It’s always tragic when a parent outlives his child. I’m halfway through reading I Love You, Beth Cooper, a book with an obvious debt to the 1980s teen comedies of director John Hughes. Though it reads like it was written expressly to be turned into a film, it’s not bad and is apparently much better [...]
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One team, one Cup
I’m pleased to report that my submission made it into the latest Puck Daddy Gallery of user-submitted custom hockey jerseys made using the Sporting Store’s jersey generator:
Wyshynski’s caption: “Peter L. pays tribute to Cleveland’s storied history in the nautical shipping industry, and its multicultural workforce.”
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Def Leppard: Recyclemania
When I was a kid, I’d have given my right arm to be as cool as the drummer from Def Leppard. I remember watching the video for “Pour Some Sugar on Me” when I was 13 and my father walking through the living room and saying, “Oh, so this is the kind of music you [...]
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Michael Jackson gets enough, stops: Boogie blamed
Man, the media goes crazy whenever a young white woman dies under mysterious circumstances.
Michael Jackson died last night, his cause of death tentatively reported as cardiac arrest, to the despair of millions. Certainly they mourn his loss, but perhaps the greater disappointment is that it seems merely to have been [...]
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