Welcome to Ruddy Inc.

10Dec03

Welcome to Ruddy Inc., your one-stop shop for all the Ruddy Ruddy-related news fit to print.

“But hold on,” you might be saying. “What’s a Ruddy Ruddy?” Well, the question is not of what, but rather of who Ruddy Ruddy is. And the answer is either:

a) Me

or

b) I have no earthly idea

It all started back when I lived in one of my student houses in Kingston, Ontario. We used to occasionally receive mail from Columbia House addressed to “Ruddy Ruddy.” I always thought this was great. Ruddy Ruddy? That’s not even a name! It wasn’t even “Rudy Ruddy,” which could actually be a name. And why “Ruddy”? It seemed like an odd word to pick. It kind of conjured up a face to go with the name, like a red-faced Scotsman so incredibly ruddy, he actually had to be named “Ruddy” — and not just once, but twice. And at the same time, the whole repeating-name thing seemed foreign and exotic, like “Zsa Zsa” or “Bora Bora.” Some previous resident at our address had obviously bilked Columbia House out of free CDs by using a fake name, and really rubbed their faces in it by using the fakest name possible. For this reason, it’s the greatest fake name I’ve ever heard.

Flash forward about half a decade. I moved to Toronto. I settled into a new house. Then one day, I got a package of free coupons addressed to Ruddy Ruddy! I was startled for a moment. Was he following me from house to house? Or rather — since I was once again getting his old mail — was I somehow unknowingly following him? Then I vaguely remembered signing up for free stuff at some online site using that name months before, in commemoration of the original fakester.

Since then, I’ve gotten a whole pile of junk mail addressed to the inscrutable Ruddy Ruddy. Direct mailers, who seemingly can’t figure out what demographic he/she might belong to, just play it safe by sending it all my way. I’ve commemorated my windfall by putting it all on display at work, mounting it on the Wall of Ruddy Ruddy, an ever-growing testimony to the eagerness with which direct mailers will trade your name among themselves. The whole exercise has gained a few fans at work, where I’ve picked up “Ruddy” as something of a nickname.

And it’s got some interested observers outside of work too. Thus, this website.



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