R.I.P. Oxyura jamaicensis


My loyal Oxford correspondent brings some upsetting and alarming news: The UK government has eradicated the ruddy duck. This is an outrage. The ruddy duck (Oxyura jamaicensis) is described in this article as “a pushy American settler” and while as a Canadian I naturally sympathize, I cannot endorse genocide as the answer. Besides, as a Canadian still flushed with pride over our glorious victory in the Turbot War, I can also appreciate the fact that the male ruddy ducks like to fly to Spain and seduce all the female ducks.

A small, brash American who seduces his female Spanish counterparts with ease? The ruddy duck is no less than the Tom Cruise of waterfowl.

Rest in peace, ruddy duck. I shall order and wear this “Ruddy Justice” T-shirt in tribute to you.

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