The Analects of Ruddy Ruddy


If there are any two words any more exciting to me right now than “Ruddy Ruddy”, they are undoubtedly “Hong Kong“. Fortunately, I do not have to choose between the two, because in a development that extends a growing worldwide phenomenon beyond North America and Europe into Asia, I am happy to report that Ruddy Ruddy has received an offering of mail from the southeast Asian island territory.

From the Confucius Publishing Co. Ltd. comes a handsomely packaged 18-language CD-ROM of the Lun Yü, which is known to English speakers as the Analects of Confucius. That’s all 499 verses of Confucius‘ maxims and discussions with his disciples in your choice of English, Spanish, Portugese, French, Japanese, Italian, German, Tagalog, Malay, Dutch, Russian, Tamil, Korean, Arabic, and of course Traditional and Simplified Chinese. After 2500 years, the greatest hits of China’s most influential teacher are all here, compiled on a single shiny disc.

Needless to say, this is very exciting. Ruddy Ruddy has received many useful things in the mail, from herpes medication to promises of untold wealth. But when was the last time someone mailed you enlightenment and inner peace?

The thing is just chock full of wisdom. For instance, let’s see what good old Connie has to say about all these direct mailers who keep sending free stuff to Ruddy Ruddy even though they never see any profit:

Chapter 2, Verse 24

Confucius said,

“To make sacrificial offerings other than to the family dead is to be a debased flatterer. To know what is right and not to do it is to be without courage.”

Zing! Take that, direct mailers! You just got schooled by the great sage of China!

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