I hate signing cards


What I just signed on the card commemorating a co-worker’s maternity leave:

    • Have a happy baby!

Also considered:

    • I hope your baby comes out.
    • Happy birthday!

On the other hand, at least I didn’t make an inappropriate speech at said co-worker’s going-away. Her boss made one that translated to “You used to have a lot of stupid ideas, and they never went anywhere, and I had to tell you to knock it off. Enjoy your cake.”

And his boss made one that very explicitly said, “You were easy to boss around, and you would do anything I told you to do. Enjoy your cake.”

What the hell is that? These are piss-poor speeches.

4 Responses to “I hate signing cards”

  1. 1 Dickolas Wang

    Won’t you feel the fool when the baby doesn’t come out! Now that’s a foot-in-mouth situation.

  2. 2 pvk

    Are you kidding? Those are great speeches!

  3. 3 SadPunk

    One day at work it was revealed to me that it was my idiot boss’s birthday. It was, in fact, strongly suggested that I “get her a card or something.” So I went over to the drug store across the street, bought a card that said, “For Your Graduation, Grandson,” scribbled my name in it, and put it in the pile with the rest of them.It was never mentioned, although I am told she took to badmouthing me after I quit for a better, less hate-filled job.

  4. 4 Matt

    “I hope your baby comes out.”AAHahahAhHAhaHAaahAHhaAaHHAAAHAHAahAHA!

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