Making a pile of shit to step in

13Jan06

Our facilities manager thinks I’m chronically unlucky. “If there’s a pile of shit, you’ll step in it,” he says. I think it’s simply that I’m a shit-disturber—one of the few people who bother to complain to him about things instead of just bitching amongst one another. But maybe we’re both right.

Today, I walked into his office holding a piece of paper that I’d picked up off the lunchroom tables and sucking my finger. “I got a paper cut from this,” I complained. I held it up to reveal the following message:

SAFETY PRECAUTIONS LUNCHEON
TUESDAY, JANUARY 17, 11:00 A.M.
CONTACT HEALTH AND SAFETY COMMITTEE TO ATTEND

A murderous glint filled his eye. I grinned at him. “I was going to come over this desk and beat the shit out of you,” he said.



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