They just suckle on it like a nipple
Guy #1: The only kind of puke that’s acceptable to get on you is baby puke. Same with baby poop. All they eat is apples and pears and shit.
Guy #2: Oh, hell no. Baby poop is nasty. I don’t know what’s being put in their mouths, b–
Me: My dick!
Guys #1 & #2: [horrified stares]
Me: [two full minutes of maniacal cackling]
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