Things my brain-damaged housemate shouldn’t have said


I was going though some old e-mail, and found this story from several years ago concerning my housemate Toula, who has brain damage.

* * *

Toula is gossiping with my non-brain-damaged housemate Salma about a friend’s new relationship. I am washing dishes in the background.

Toula: … he’s already exerting all this influence over her.

Salma: How long have they been going out?

Toula: A month.

Salma: Oh, so not that long, then.

Toula: Yeah, they’re in that no-man’s land period of dating.

Salma [after a pause]: Well, what does that mean?

Toula: You know in war, how there’s the battle lines, and there’s that space between the trenches where all the dead bodies are? That’s the no-man’s land. [nods]

Salma [looking to me]: O…kay.

Me [thinking]: In a way, that’s a very good explanation. In another way, that’s the worst explanation I’ve ever heard, and I’m going to throw this knife at her now.

3 Responses to “Things my brain-damaged housemate shouldn’t have said”

  1. 1 Scott

    You’re going to get fired from your house!!!

  2. 2 hilly

    Were I in your togs, I may have hummed a bar or two of Generalissima Benatar’s stirring call to arms, Love is a Battlefield.

  3. 3 Riley

    I would posit that you make a link on the side of your blog that leads to all of your Brain-Damaged Toula stories, as I have never failed to laugh at one.

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