Go buy Cracked #2


It’s certainly not my intention that you derive an iota of enjoyment from this post. Instead, I want you to run, run, run down to your local magazine vendor and feed your jones by purchasing the new issue of Cracked. It just arrived in my mailbox this morning, so it should be landing on newsstands everywhere right about now. If it’s not there yet, please stand and wait patiently. Feel free to leaf through another magazine while you wait. Should your local magazine vendor object to your reading magazines before purchasing them, ask if he would buy a car without taking it for a test drive. He will fail to disagree with this logic, and when he does, feel free to sleep with his daughter before tendering a marriage proposal. He can’t say a thing about it.

Once you’ve snatched up Cracked (and have gotten over how unintentionally dirty that phrase sounds), make sure you have a gander at the Men’s Health parody inside. I wrote a couple of little things for that, and since nothing in that section has a byline, I’ll tell you what they are: the “Jimmy the Bartender” spoof and the Nutrition Tips a couple of pages after that. (And, on the intervening page, also notice the inadvertently uncensored swear word closely following the carefully bowdlerized instantiation of that very same obscenity! Cracked: Not for kids anymore, partially intentionally and partially accidentally.)

Of course there’s other good stuff to be found in the issue. It should come as no surprise that Jay Pinkerton is in there, even as busy as he’s been with his recent marriage (forthewhich congratulations are well-deserved). Also to be found is our old Golden Words comrade Justin Skinner, also known as the intermittent proprietor of Clark M——F—— Gable’s Blog and, more generally, as a very funny guy. I see fellow Cracked blogger and Trailer Trash veteran Sean Crespo in there too. And who knows who else might be in there or what other untold pleasures may await?

I think you should definitely go buy a copy of Cracked issue #2. Not buying this magazine would be a very grave mistake, and—be honest—you already have far too many regrets in life.

3 Responses to “Go buy Cracked #2”

  1. 1 Mason

    Is it possible for us lowly Australians to purchase this? I had a look in Borders but they didn’t have it.

  2. 2 MW

    I also wrote some stuff in said Men’s Health parody. What I’m saying here is that the issue was written by some really funny guys, and also me.

    So I agree you should go buy it, folks.

  3. Mason: I really don’t know. It might take a bit longer to get all the way down there, so maybe go back and look next week.

    MW: I thought you might be in there. I looked through the magazine to see if you had any bylines and didn’t see any, but figured you might be hiding in the Men’s Health parody too.

    So there you go, folks. I endorse this issue all the more.

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