In retrospect, Star Trek: Enterprise wasn’t much better
And to close out Picking on Hack Comedians Week, here’s a story from a few years ago that touches on not only Robin Williams, who has a terrible movie out now, but also Rod Stewart, who has a terrible album out now.
ME [entering living room]: What’s this on T– are you watching Patch Adams?!
TOULA, BRAIN-DAMAGED HOUSEMATE: Yes.
ME: HA HA HA! HAW! HAW! HAW!
TOULA: Yeah, it’s funny.
ME [leaving]: You just don’t get it.
ME [poking head tentatively into living room]: Is it gone yet?
TOULA: The movie’s over.
[Commercial break ends. Robin Williams returns to screen.]
ME: Agh! It’s still on! You made me watch some Patch Adams!
TOULA: Oh, good. It’s still on!
ME [scrubbing eyes]: Damn you to hell!
TOULA: I’m making popcorn!
ROBIN WILLIAMS: I know my methods seem unconventional, but I believe laughter is the best medicine.
DISCIPLINARY BOARD CHAIRMAN [banging gavel]: Patch Adams, I sentence you to be hanged by the neck, until you are dead! dead! DEAD!
ME [waking up]: It was just a dream … a wonderful dream.
ME [hearing theme music to Star Trek: Enterprise from kitchen]: I don’t know why Star Trek is on now, but I’m up for that.
ME [entering living room to see end credits to Patch Adams scrolling up screen]: What the– this song is the Patch Adams theme?!
TOULA: This is a good song.
ME: Why is Rod Stewart singing this version?! It’s bad enough Diane Warren wrote it! Then they put it in a Robin Williams movie! Robin Williams!
TOULA: He’s a hero.
ME: This represents the very depths of mainstream mediocrity! This is terrible! [passes out from apoplexy]
TOULA: That was a good movie.
Filed under: Brain-Damaged Toula | 7 Comments