Things I shouldn’t have said #15

  • “A woman is like a pinball machine. Hit it just hard enough, and it’ll work for you better. But hit it too hard, and it’ll stop working for you altogether.”
  • “You can’t transfer that from your phone onto your computer. The only thing you’ve ever transferred onto your computer is a glob of sperm you shot onto the keyboard.”
  • “Okay, I have a lot of other people to fence after I eliminate you, so if you could do me a favour and just hold still and let me rack up 15 easy points so I won’t be too tired later, I’d really appreciate it.”

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