Brain-Damaged Peter


You know, I make a big deal about Brain-Damaged Toula, but she’s not the one who finished using my Foreman Grill last night and then unplugged not the grill, but the blender plugged into the outlet beside it, and then went and sat in another room wondering how long it was going to take the grill to stop making its little cooling-off noises until she got home and was surprised at how hot the kitchen was before immediately discovering the source of the problem. That was me.

She’s either too smart to do that or too cheap to waste electricity like that. In fact, she has never ever done this thing before, whereas I have. This once led to the following conversation:

Toula [offstage]: Are you still using the stove?

Peter: Did I leave it on?

Toula: Yes.

Peter: Sorry about that.

[long pause]

Toula: Are you going to turn it off?

Peter: I assumed you did!

Toula: Why should I turn it off?

Peter: Because you noticed it and are standing right in front of it, and it’s obviously not in use.

Toula: I still don’t see–

Peter [exits stage left, then returns]: Off.

Toula: You’re just trying to get under my skin.

Peter: What? No I’m not.

Toula: Well, you’ve never done that before.

Peter: I know I’m usually a memory wizard when it comes to turning the stove off, but there’s a first time for everything. It happens to everybody.

Toula: Not me.

Peter: Not even once in your whole life?

Toula: No.

Peter: Well, you’re really good at working the stove.

Toula: Yeah, I guess I am.

Peter [under breath]: If your memory’s so good, why do the police keep coming to the door with writs of habeas corpus because you forgot to show up to testify against the driver who gave you brain damage?

2 Responses to “Brain-Damaged Peter”

  1. 1 Riley

    Whoah! Brain-Damaged Toula has an origin story?

    I’d love to see a Jay Pinkerton-‘shopped comic of that.

  2. 2 Eric

    Hear Hear! Git er done Jay.

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