Matter of some concern

11Jan07

Mike “The Math Librarian” Martelle passes along the following warning, which sounds rather important, so I’m posting it here as a public service announcement.

Folks,

It has recently come to my attention that, in November 2007, the Large Hadron Collider 27 km particle acceleration tunnel near Geneva will be switched on. Without boring you with the math involved, suffice to say that this is the first time in human history such a device will be activated, and a number of scientific watchdog groups are expressing grave concern.

It is, apparently, entirely possible that this event could conceivably result in any of the following unintentional side effects: the creation of a black hole; the creation of the hypothetical material known as “strange matter”; the catalyzation of proton decay via the creation of magnetic monopoles; or, as the hardcore physics nerds would put it, the “transition of Earth into a different quantum mechanical vacuum”.

Any of these occurences would most likely result in the instantaneous destruction of Earth, and three of them could actually, in the most extreme hypothetical scenario, cause the rather abrupt end of the universe. I kid thee not.

On the plus side, if it works, we will learn a whole lot more about magnets.

Just thought you should know.



5 Responses to “Matter of some concern”

  1. This sounds awesome.

  2. 2 Phil

    Hey now be fair. According to the scientists involved, any of that happening would be “quite unlikely.”

  3. I’d feel safer if they’d said, “absolutely, completely, one hundred percent scientifically impossible.”

  4. “I kid thee not.”

    Is this guy for real or just high on Shakespeare? Pfft. I’m not worried. If there is a black hole created, I’m so jumping into it to escape work that day.

  5. You just reminded me of a thread on Jay’s message board called “who the fuck says “methinks”. I would say that the Math Librarian would, and the sentence would probably be “Methinks I’m going to serve up a plate of whoop-ass.” The big dude’s all flowery and polite and gallant, and shit like that.


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