An IM conversation that would make a billy goat puke

23Jan07

A few months ago, a friend of mine was seeing this guy who was in the military. At the time, he’d simply vanished for a few months, remaining extremely reticent about where he was currently posted. Naturally, she was consumed with curiosity about where he was. Well, now we know where he is: out of the picture entirely. Now that she’s gone on to better things, I can probably share this MSN Messenger conversation that we had around that time.

Hellasweet says:
well, I found out some information regarding [name deleted].

Ruddy Ruddy says:
What?

Hellasweet says:
I think he’s part of JTF 2. [Note: Joint Task Force 2 is a Canadian special ops counter-terrorism unit.]

Ruddy Ruddy says:
Really?

Hellasweet says:
he was saying something about wanting to do this for a while…I think he may have gotten reassigned there.

Hellasweet says:
here’s some info that makes sense: “Many of the missions assigned to JTF 2 in support of Canadian security necessitate a stringent operational security policy. As such, many unit missions require that JTF 2 members provide little to no deployment details to their family. Despite these security precautions, every opportunity made to ensure adequate communication between unit members and their family during deployments. Also, like any other CF unit, JTF 2 ensures that a number of support services are available to unit member’s families at all times.”

Ruddy Ruddy says:
What you seem to accept is that you’re dealing with an expert in guerrilla warfare. With a man who’s the best with guns, with knives, with his bare hands. With a man trained to ignore pain. To ignore weather. To live off the land. To eat things that would make a billy goat puke.

Hellasweet says:
well, he does eat a lot of plants and stuff when we are out…he knows what you can eat

Ruddy Ruddy says:
In JTF 2, his job is to dispose of enemy personnel. To kill! Period! Win by attrition. Well, he’s the best.

Hellasweet says:
um…not sure about that…

Ruddy Ruddy says:
Sorry, I’ve been quoting Richard Crenna as Colonel Trautman, Rambo’s former commanding officer in First Blood.

Ruddy Ruddy says:
I actually spent a good deal of Friday memorizing those lines. I’m thinking of putting them at the top of my resume in the “profile” section. I didn’t think I’d get such a good chance to use them in conversation so soon, though.

Hellasweet says:
man, I’m depressed

Ruddy Ruddy says:
You wanna hear depressed? We were in this bar in Saigon and this kid comes up, this kid carrying a shoe-shine box. And he says “Shine, please, shine!” I said no. He kept askin’, yeah, and Joey said “Yeah.” And I went to get a couple of beers, and the box was wired, and he opened up the box, fucking blew his body all over the place. And he’s laying there, he’s fucking screaming. There’s pieces of him all over me, just… like this, and I’m tryin’ to pull him off, you know, my friend that’s all over me! I’ve got blood and everything and I’m tryin’ to hold him together! I’m puttin’… the guy’s fuckin’ insides keep coming out! And nobody would help! Nobody would help! He’s saying, sayin’ “I wanna go home! I wanna go home!” He keeps calling my name! “I wanna go home, Johnny! I wanna drive my Chevy!” I said “Why? I can’t find your fuckin’ legs! I can’t find your legs!”

Hellasweet says:
uh, wow

Ruddy Ruddy says:
Sorry, more First Blood.

Hellasweet says:
yeah, I see

Ruddy Ruddy says:
Good movie.



One Response to “An IM conversation that would make a billy goat puke”

  1. Um I think that post was a bit… Over the Top


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