24 thoughts. (“24” being a reference to the subject of said thoughts and not the actual number of them)

30Jan07

Some musings about the current season of 24:

  • On tonight’s episode, everybody was making a big fuss about how terrible and unjust it was that CTU analyst Nadia Yassir, who is of Middle Eastern descent, had had her security clearance lowered by Homeland Security. I’m no fan of racial profiling, but are they really saying it’s an utterly ridiculous idea that there might be a mole in CTU? Really? Do they not recall the names Nina Myers, Jamey Farrell, Marianne Taylor, or Spenser Wolff? And of course, Gael Ortega was set up as a kind of counter-mole as a double-swerve just to play on the hallowed tradition of moles in CTU. It’s like having a Palmer in the White House (mark my words: You’ll see David’s son Keith in the Oval Office by Day 10). There’s always a mole in CTU. It’s a burrow, not a field office.
  • On the other hand, I think the season got off to a great start with Jack going all Lost Boys and killing the guard by biting his neck. And since they’re always casting actors recognizable from other roles, they ought to just go with it and throw in more moments like this for me. Have that weaselly White House Chief of Staff be the first guy in the history of the show to go to the bathroom and perform a dismount while exiting the toilet stall. Have Jack dump his brother into toxic waste and then explode him by running a car into him. And end the season by having Jack and his dad rocket into space and make the first experimental warp drive test flight.
  • By the way, I can make four Star Trek connections to the current cast of 24. I just gave you one. Another one is obvious, two others less so. What are they? (No cheating by looking it up, mind you.)
  • Wayne Palmer just isn’t his brother when it comes to dealing with a difficult situation. While watching an old episode of The Unit (guest-starring Colm Meaney, speaking of Star Trek), I came to the conclusion that if I was ever in a jam of any sort, and I could contact any single Hollywood actor to get me out of it, I’d want Dennis Haysbert. For one thing, he was David Palmer. Moral, strong, tall (and yes, fatally shot), that guy was the Abraham Lincoln of fictional presidents. Now, he’s Jonas Blane on The Unit, so you know that if a diplomatic solution failed, he’d just bring in a covert special ops team to deal with the problem swiftly, quietly, and efficiently. And he’s the spokesman for Allstate Insurance. You’re in good hands with Dennis Haysbert. Good, big, meaty hands, attached to a hulking frame housing a deep, soothing voice. If you crashed your car on a rainy night, he could just cradle you in his arms and make you feel all better while the clerks over at the insurance office sorted everything out. And of course, he’s got a personal relationship with minor voodoo deity Jobu, as seen in Major League. So he’s my pick. What’s yours? You couldn’t go too wrong with Oprah, for instance. She likes to help folks out.



2 Responses to “24 thoughts. (“24” being a reference to the subject of said thoughts and not the actual number of them)”

  1. Oprah? What’s Oprah gonna do when I get into a car accident? Recommend some moisturizer and a book about covered bridges?

  2. 2 Jonathan

    Oprah would just wait for you to die then set up a memorial fund in “your” honor (because she’s not at all a narcissisticgrand-standingchodewithaninferioritycomplex).


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