Post at the bottom of this weblog, please allow me to bump thee


“I was just reading last night about Generation X on Wikipedia. I was wondering whether your generation (and mine, really) are falling out of touch with the youth culture,” comments Dickolas Wang about the previous post. “But this line has reminded me that nay, you are not out of touch with them: they are out of touch with you.”

Funny he should say that. I was just thinking about how out of touch the youth culture and I are with each other. Last night when I was running a few laps to warm up at fencing practice, I threw out a well-placed reference to “Joy and Pain” by Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock, only to find that the girl I was talking to had no idea whatsoever what I was talking about. After all, she was barely out of the cradle when I was busy getting funky and doing the running man at basement parties.

Well, surely she at least knew the Humpty Dance, I figured. Even my mom knows about the Humpty Dance. (Granted, she only knows about it because for some reason I had it on the brain at Easter and wouldn’t stop talking about it, much to her annoyance.) Nope. She had no idea. The kids today are just plain out of touch. Disgusted, I retreated to practice some footwork, which, owing to poor form, consisted of me limping to the side like my leg was broken, shakin’ and twitchin’ kinda like I was smokin’.

Anyway, after practice and some drinks afterward, I came home and had a one-man party kicking out some old-school jams, including tracks by Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock, Naughty by Nature, and Sir Mix-a-Lot, among others. And now, courtesy of YouTube and Digital Underground, I am pleased to offer you your chance to do the Hump. Do the Humpty Hump.

20 Responses to “Post at the bottom of this weblog, please allow me to bump thee”

  1. 1 MC

    You get some Biz Markie in there too?

  2. 2 Marlene

    I was 8 years old in 1989 and I vaguely remember the Humpty Dance. Of course my favourite song then was “Poison” by Alice Cooper. Even at 8 I was way cooler than you were at 14.

  3. 3 Gloria

    I was four. My favourite song was the Polka Dot Door theme song.

  4. 4 Peter Lynn

    MC: I thought about it, but the only Biz Markie song that came to mind was “Just a Friend”, and it didn’t seem upbeat enough for my one-man dance party.

    Marlene: I liked “Poison” just fine. You may be prettier, but I don’t know why you would ever think you were cooler than me.

    Gloria: No shame in that. The Polka Dot Door theme song was pretty kickin’.

    Various notes:

    1. Listening to these various tracks reminded me of a guy I went to high school with who reinvented himself with a cool new image patterned after Vanilla Ice. At the time, it worked great. In retrospect, the only way he could have gone worse would have been to pattern himself after Milli Vanilli or Gerardo.

    2. A couple of years a go, I was up late watching the classic SNL, and the musical guest was Hammer performing his Addams Family theme. I was prepared to laugh at Hammer, but was surprised to find myself enjoying him completely non-ironically. All those choreographed dance moves were just plain entertaining.

    3. After hearing me prattle on about the Humpty Dance today and being forced to agree to play it at his impending wedding reception, the other Peter asked me if Humpty Hump sang on any other songs. I was pleased to say, “He sang on ‘Doowatchalike’ and if you missed it, he’s the one who said, ‘Just grab ’em by the biscuits.'”

  5. 5 Scott

    Peter: Don’t sell yourself short, buddy. You’re a very pretty man. As for whether or not you’re cooler than my wife? It’s a moot point. You both have a blog.

    Gloria: Which version of the polka dot door theme song? I liked “This is the time we always say get ready get set for dress up day. Things to wear and games to play!”

  6. 6 Callum

    I was 1 year old in 1989, and it wasn’t until the advent of the Power Rangers cd that I was even aware that music existed.

    Seriously, Power Rangers.

  7. 7 Gloria

    Scott: There was more than one version? Oh shit! I remember several things — including the time we went to the crayon factory! — but not variations on the theme.

  8. 8 Scott

    They just had different themed days and one small portion of the lyrics would change to reflect that theme.

    eg. “Get ready get set for imagination day” or “Get ready get set for ejaculation day”

    They also had different lyrics for the opening than they did for the closing.

  9. 9 Gloria

    Ah, yes, of course. Thanks, Scott.

    Only the deranged would check for a Polka Dot Door torrent …. aw. Bummer.

  10. 10 raspberry

    a few years ago, i happened to catch digital underground doin’ the hump in vegas. at first i was delightedly humpty dancing down the garden path of memory lane. and then i looked around and realized that no-one else in the room had ever heard of the band, done the dance, or could understand why that drunk man was wearing groucho marx glasses.

    though they probably didn’t recognize them to be groucho marx glasses, either….

  11. 11 Ken

    I was three in 1989. My favorite song would be the Elephant Song from Sharon, Lois, and Bram. Anyone?

  12. 12 Sneaky

    hey pete apologies for DIGRESSING. i am on the search for adrienne hurst and by reading your blog it sounds like you might be a friend of hers. she really inspired me when i was younger, mind passing on my email to her? i’m an old friend from her GIFTED class circa 1980something…Wyoming, Onterrible. i should join facebook but i just can’t succumb to pop culture with the sun out x m

  13. 13 sneaky
  14. As a matter of fact, Adrienne is an old friend of mine (and Scott’s, too). Unfortunately, though, I haven’t talked to her in about seven years. She doesn’t seem to actually be on Facebook, but we have some old mutual friends who are, so I’ve put the word out and I’ll pass along your e-mail if possible.

  15. 15 MC

    Is it wrong that I want some lumpy oatmeal now.

  16. My favourite thing about this post is the mental picture it gave me of you and your mom sitting in her living room in silence, which you’d break before long by saying “Hey, here’s another thing I forgot to mention about ‘The Humpty Dance'” and prompting her to storm out of the room.

    Also: I was ten in 1989. Just thought I’d better put that out there.

  17. 17 Gloria

    Huh. Not entirely related, but I saw (er, looked you up) on Facebook, and you actually look like less of an asshole than was hyped/as I imagined. How deceptive! Well-done.

  18. I have the face of an angel, Gloria. But I can’t believe you looked me up, but never even poked me.

  19. 19 Gloria

    That’s true, I’m a big poke whore. I poked Belinda Stronach and she, being what she is, poked back.

  20. 20 Greg

    Oh,how I can relate. The good people who were kind enough to employ me have an annual user conference with a theme party. I was asked to ‘jazz up’ the invitation (this is what I am paid to do — ‘jazz up’ things. At first I thought they said ‘jizz’ but that issue has been settled out of court). The opening night party has a 70’s/80’s theme and I crafted a very clever invite full of pop culture references and witty observations, all of which my supervisor nixed, because she claims her earliest memory was formed in 1991.
    I promise to do the Humpty Dance in your honour at the party though.

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