My electricity goes squirrelly


I was telling someone about my recent power outage (one of several recent power outages, actually), and she mentioned that whenever you hear a big bang and the power goes out, a squirrel usually seems to be involved. It’s funny she should say that — and that I’ve been characterizing my computer’s recent behavior as a result of repeated power failures as “squirrelly” — because the next day, I actually did notice a dead squirrel lying on the sidewalk right outside the main entrance to my house.

It was right where you’d have to step over it to leave the house, and apparently my housemates had been doing just that because it was just lying there and getting stiff at least a day after it apparently got zapped and fell off the power line. I come and go through a separate entrance, so it was really more their problem than mine, but I’m the one with the experience with disposing of dead animals. I had to deal with a kitten that was hit by a cab in front of my house when I was in university, and last year, I happened along just as another kitten was staggering around in his final moments after having just been hit by a car, so I had to deal with that too. So, I bagged the squirrel.

It occurred to me that this gave me a prime opportunity for a practical joke. How often do you come into possession of a dead and stiffening squirrel? I could given someone a surprise by slipping it into his or her desk drawer or take it to the fencing club and slip it into someone’s bag. However, it then occurred to me that this is the sort of thing that crosses the line from nasty practical joke to something you’d see in the first half hour of a horror movie as the psycho’s first warning sign before he really gets down to brass tacks and gets on with the stalking and killing. After all, if I found a dead squirrel in my bag, I’d probably scream bloody murder, call the police, and insist that the perpetrator be brought to justice.

So, in the end, I just threw it over the fence into the neighbor’s yard and went about my business.

Only kidding. I put it in the green bin.

4 Responses to “My electricity goes squirrelly”

  1. 1 Benj

    You should have put it in the fridge with a note attached; “Peter’s squirrel, do not eat”

  2. 2 Scott

    No, you should have put it in a box and mailed it to me under the name of Ruddy Ruddy.

  3. I believe the word is “jiggy”.

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