My friend Barry once told me that two of his friends were out playing pool in a bar and got into a wagering mood. “Care to make it interesting?” one said. “Winner gets twenty bucks.”

“No,” said the other. “Let’s make it really interesting. If you lose, you have to go try to pick up the best-looking woman you can find, and you have to mention at some point that you once took a shit shaped like a cobra.”

“Done,” said the first, who immediately proceeded to lose badly.

A bet’s a bet, and so the two of them found themselves a pair of really good-looking girls and introduced themselves. The conversation flowed smoothly, and after a while the loser realized that the girl he was talking to wasn’t just beautiful; she was also smart, and funny, and sexy, and nice. In short, she was just the sort of girl he wanted to date — definite girlfriend material.

“This is going great,” he thought. “But how the hell am I going to work this in? The better this goes, the harder it’s going to be.” He contemplated this for a minute.

“Fuck it,” he thought. “If I’m going to do it, I’ll do it all the way.”

Interrupting her mid-sentence, he stuck one arm up “Walk Like An Egyptian”-style — pantomiming a striking cobra — and said brightly, “I once took a shit shaped like a cobra! Hiss!” His hiss was like that of a vampire who sees a cross. Saliva sprayed with reckless abandon.

The girl blanched and fell silent. Her friend took her arm and immediately walked her out of the bar. He never saw her again.

“That was so worth it,” he thought.

3 Responses to ““Cobra!“”

  1. 1 MC

    Ow… that hurts my soul.

  2. 2 Pearl

    what a man . . . every time i look into my husband’s eyes, now, i am going to wonder what could have been.

  3. 3 Hobo Divine

    Ummm… the solution was quite simple, it’s called throwing a bet.

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