Things I shouldn’t have said #26

  • “I still think the Realdoll company should make a tiny baby-shaped model.”
  • You should furnish your new apartment in Seattle to be an exact replica of the one on Frasier, right down to the extent of shipping your dad out there and shattering his knee.
  • As long as I have a puppy and a van, I should be fine. But the candy angle works great, actually. What you do is get them sucking on it, and then lower it, and lower it … and then–pop!–make a quick substitution.

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