Things I shouldn’t have said #28

  • “I’ll still like you just as much whether or not you lose weight. It’ll just be easier to like you if you do.”
  • “You don’t fool me. I know the reason you liked Transformers so much is that you weren’t really born a woman.”
  • “I’m so hung like a horse that I eat my meals out of a bag strapped to my face.”

Bonus Thing Someone Else Shouldn’t Have Said to Candace

  • “Don’t worry. The last girl I stalked is still in one piece. In my freezer.”

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