Moving out

23Aug07

[cross-posted from the old blog]

Good news! I rounded out my list of the top five worst things that have ever happened to me today. The first four are, in declining order, my philosophy of feminism class, jumping into the frigid waters of Lake Ontario in April to retrieve an errant frisbee, listening to Captain Beefheart’s Trout Mask Replica for the first time, and dropping a brick of ice onto my recently bruised toe. This afternoon I stopped by the Asian supermarket to pick up some sushi and green tea Pocky, and, on a whim, I picked up a can of Hey-Song Honey White Gourd Drink. It is terrible. It’s just awful. I could barely manage more than a couple of sips before I had to rub my tongue with wasabi to eradicate the taste. A friend (who declined to try it) described the smell as that of moldy cereal, which actually seems pretty close. It tastes like it smells, although I guess it’s pretty gourdlike too. I don’t know what made me think a gourd drink might be any good. Turnip nauseates me. Squash is vomitous. And I don’t even like pumpkin pie that much. Whatever a Honey White Gourd is, I hate as well. Here’s the look of revulsion that comes over me just holding the empty can:

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So, after the emotionally draining experience of consuming a foul gourd drink, it is comparatively dispassionately that I mention my other news, which is that Man vs. Clown is moving out from under the aegis of Cracked.com. Actually, that’s not true. It’s with genuine warmth, looking back upon my positive experience with Cracked and the increased exposure that this blog has gained over the last year or so. Cracked.com will be undergoing some exciting changes soon, which means the end of the Cracked blogs in their current form. However, that doesn’t mean I’m finished as a Cracked blogger; I intend to be very involved with the new and improved Cracked in the future, and you’ll just have to wait and see what’s being cooked up.

Meanwhile, however, feel free to point your browsers toward https://manvsclown.wordpress.com/, where I’ve already set up shop. And let the real trash-talking begin, as a free and independent press dishes out all the really juicy gossip that Cracked never wanted you to hear, from Sylvester P. Smythe’s drunk-driving arrest and subsequent racist tirade to Nanny Dickering’s pantyless upskirt crotch-shots to Hudd and Dini’s secret gay Hollywood wedding. You’ll read it all at the new and improved Man vs. Clown!



17 Responses to “Moving out”

  1. I guess this means we can comment willy-nilly again! I feel like running around and trashing the joint in celebration!

  2. 2 Scott

    I feel like commenting just because I can.

  3. “MvC!” looks quite clean now, which is good, but the big “type here” in the comments box feels patronizing. I’ll be damned if I’ll be talked down to by Mr. Lynn’s unconscious design choices.

  4. At last! I can love again.

  5. 5 Kitty

    Pet, is that really you? You have a quite impressively wrinkled face.

  6. 6 Amear

    I’m yet to find anything other than beer in my local Asian supermarket that I can drink without wanting to hurt someone. Some of the tastes I’ve endured alone are justification for the Second World War. I don’t even care that the Chinese were on our side.

  7. 7 Pearl

    Oh, wow. This feels quite wonderful. Makes me want to take off my bra, if I wasn’t at work.

  8. 8 hilly

    I CAN TALK! I CAN TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLKKKKK!

  9. 9 Ken

    I would also like to make you aware that I can comment once again.

  10. Not me, though.

  11. 11 hilly

    Oh, please tell Mr. and Mrs. Pinkerton that I am very sorry (and also amused) about Jay getting crushed under the metaphorical weight of all those plaintive emails, even though Karla was mean about the ONE DAMN TYPO I made.

    This is why posters are always so hyper-sensitive about spelling and grammar; you can’t ever give anyone an opening, ever.

  12. 12 Scott

  13. I like this much more than the Cracked blog. Yours was always the cleanest of the bunch, Robotman’s being the most ridiculously unorganized, but this is most fitting.

    Also, has anyone ever told you that you look almost exactly like Michael Stipe circa the Monster album? Well, minus the glitter, of course. Other than that, though, you two could be twins. Or one of you could be the drag version, I guess.

    You’ll have to discuss that with him.

  14. 14 Scott

    How odd that you look like either Michael Stipe or Mark Messier. They might be two somewhat different people.

  15. I really pictured you as more cherub-looking. You know, a jolly chubby little elf, a real old Peter Lynn.

  16. Holy God. I just looked at that Mark Messier photo, and then did a side-by-side of it and Michael Stipe.

    I stand corrected: the three of you could all be Michael Stipe, on a descending scale of gayness starting with the man himself ranking as “upper echelon”.

    It’s kind of complicated. I have a graph.


  1. 1 The gourd face « Man vs. Clown!

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