The name of this post is “Jon Dore sucks”

07Sep07

When I moved my blog from its home at Cracked, you may have wondered why I didn’t return it to its previous home at Blogger. (If you have wondered this, you are almost certainly Scott and are also wondering when you’ll be able to post things like you used to.) The reason I didn’t go back to Blogger is that it kind of sucks. But I’ve left the Blogger site up as a signpost directing people toward the new home. But it still gets traffic from those who don’t realize it’s been dead for ages.

For example, I just got this comment on a post called “Go Away, Jon Dore” (I think that rhymes. I don’t pay enough attention to the erstwhile Canadian Idol correspondent and soi-disant comedian to know if his name is actually Jon Doré) that appears here on the original blog and here on this one:

max bedroom said…

Well – I guess you’ll be happy to know that he has his own show on The Comedy Network launching this fall(2007) and the show is guaranteed to make you eat your words.

Either that or you will hate him more than ever.

Regardless – it will be the best thing to happen to Canadian comedy since “The Trouble With Tracy”.

Enjoy living in your blog…however, there are worlds out there to explore.

Well, I never! If I weren’t so comfortably ensconced in my mother’s basement, I’d be sorely tempted to hunt this guy down and help him explore a world of ass-whippings. Incidentally, Wikipedia reports that The Trouble with Tracy “… is widely considered to be one of the worst situation comedies ever produced.” So, “Max Bedroom” is on the right track: Jon Dore’s new show is likely to at least be better than it, albeit probably not the best thing to happen to Canadian comedy since then. (Not to brag, but …) That is, if Max Bedroom is in fact his real name. Here’s my follow-up comment:

Dear Jon,

Congratulations on your new show! I hope it’s a tremendous success. As I’ve said, you may or may not be funny on the stage or screen (I wouldn’t know, as I’ve never gotten around to catching your act), but as you clearly have no facility with the written word, here’s hoping that your other endeavours keep you too busy to write.

“Why can’t I write and do the show?” you might ask. “I can do lots of things and write!” A fair question, but as you yourself have said, those who write do so at the cost of failing to explore the worlds outside. Clearly you are correct. No one could possibly write and live a well-rounded existence, certainly not those who live in their blogs.

By the way, since I posted this, three seasons of Canadian Idol have aired, Sandy Garcia has become Sandy Caetano (but still sucks), and I’ve moved this blog twice. Adjust your self-Googling regimen accordingly.

Love,
Peter Lynn

Really, Jon. We know it’s you. And we know you found my earlier post by Googling yourself. What’s more, we know you found it by Googling “Jon Dore sucks” because you know you suck. So, just to help you find this post too, let me say that again to push it higher in the search results: Jon Dore sucks. You suck, Jon Dore. Who’s the guy who sucks? You — Jon Dore. It would be Sandy Caetano, but she’s a girl, so it’s you, Jon Dore.



17 Responses to “The name of this post is “Jon Dore sucks””

  1. He was deflated ego surfing?

  2. 2 Scott

    I feel like reading this has been worth my time. Maybe I’ll go blog about it at the old Blogger site.

  3. 3 max bedroom3

    Well – if there’s one thing I’m most pleased about is that I am now actually having one-on-one discussions with THE Peter Lynn. Mano-a-mano or rather, mano-a-hermaphrodite to be prickcise. Yes – you have both male and female genitalia! Check! You do. Well – I could swear you could…all things considered. Y’know – you are a prick and a pussy. So – hehe – – – he. Anyways – I am very humbled by the fact that you are able to put down your keyboard for 5 mins. – to, well – pick it up again and have the decency to reply to my inane comments.

    I’m not sure if (ahem) Jon has found his way to this page but I bet you if he did he would be none to happy. “The Trouble With Tracy” rocks you a-hole and you would know that if you had a human soul. And stop going to Wiki for all your one-stop needs – it’s not Wal-Mart for God’s sake. Do some real research for once and I mean really check for that other genital. Man, Dore would whip your ass so badly on the account that he has been secretly training for “UFC 101: The Wreck-oning” since 2006 – yes almost a full year – and he is regarded as a true MMA threat to be – errr – reckoned with.

    So Petey – the truth is – as much as you just can’t come to terms with it – you are, in fact, a hermaphrodite. No – wait – gotta stop with that – sorry. Um, Petey – you gotta really accept the fact that I am an anonymous plebe who happens to appreciate certain things that you may not – which is cool, because I’m personally not a fan of people who have a mightier-than-thou-self-adoring-near-pompous-all-I-got-is-this-blog-oh-god-that’s all-well-I’ll-show-you-real-world-wait!-I-do-have two-genitalia-that-SOB-was-right-after all-what-the-hell-am-going-to-do-with-this-other-one attitude that some people who have blogs have. I mean – seriously, I wouldn’t even know how to start a blog. It seems like a lot of work and really time consuming. I don’t think I could fit it into my life to tell you the truth. I commend people who have the ability to do create these crazy, complex Blogs and have Facebook profiles and know more than 3 languages. That’s pretty neat but man, I think you’re such a loser.

    If and when I see Jon next – I might not tell him about the “Tracy” comment – if you’re lucky. “The Wreckoning!”

  4. 4 max bedroom3

    By the way – the reason I didn’t “realize” your old Blogger site was dead is because before a few weeks ago – I didn’t even know YOU existed. Get a load of yourself – sheesh!
    The world doesn’t revolve around your stupid ramblings you insect dropping.
    Man – I wish you’ve been dead for ages.

  5. 5 Peter Lynn

    Well, Jon Dore certainly told me. Perhaps I should just use my male and female genitalia to go fuck myself.

  6. 6 Dave

    I watched the Jon Dore Television Show last night. This was the 3rd episode I tried watching. I understand some episodes of shows may be bad and some can be really good.

    Last nights was about STD’s. So I watched the first 15 minutes and it still sucked. I caught the humor bits but it never made me laugh.

    And I found this page by searching “Jon Dore sucks” on Google.

  7. 7 dingleberry

    Yes Jon Dore does suck, here is what happened he saw the movie Anchor man, and thought that paul rudd’s character was so funny that he would steal that character and have a show where he acts like him ( and maybe a little bit of will farell) 24/7,… the difference is that paul rudd made that character for anchor man and then was done with it, because hes a good actor and can be different characters in his comedy, where as Jon dore is just a one dimensional ripoff comedian who is about as funny as brent butt… canadian comedy is terrible!!

    • 8 Larry

      dingleberry, I was with you up to the 180 of comparing the Canadian comedy tragedy of Jon Dore to hilarious Canadian comedian Brent Butt. Obviously you are just prejudice to all Canadian comedians.

  8. 9 E

    Jon Dore really sucks, the only thing that will drive the show’s success is its prepubescent appeal– adult material that isn’t actually funny

  9. 10 Mark

    I found this page by typing “John Dore sucks” and I thought there would be a lot more comments…
    I cannot for the life of me understand why this talentless imbecile is on TV, and even less, why his show is still on after all this time. I’ve seen countless ads for the program on Comedy Channel, and have suffered through short bits from his show as I was channel surfing, and there is really not much to laugh about, other than the fact that he managed to get a his own TV program. He is truly a “unique talent”… insofar as he seems to be the only village idiot whose village is not calling him to come back.
    Perhaps the program’s “lowest common denominator” humor appeals to people who have irreparably damaged their brains with large amounts of narcotics, but he is at best only a third rate copy of Tom Green, who himself helped redefine the meaning of pathetic in terms of humor. Although I have a secret crush on Drew Barrymore, if I ever meet her in person I would feel compelled to slap her in the face for “marrying” that moron.
    There is something really sad about network execs who believe that people should gain unwarranted fame and exposure simply by acting like imbeciles without having any real comedic talent. I’m thinking particularly of the show “Jackass” that started this nauseating phenomenon.
    Let’s face it, there are dozens of truly funny Canadian comedians out there who deserve a platform, so I’d really like to know who made the decision to give this comedically challenged buffoon his own show. I also feel really sorry for the announcer guy who has to pretend that the shows are funny in the ads…

  10. 11 Keith

    Jon Dore Looks like me. It doesn’t get me chicks

  11. 12 jaromir

    Yes Jon Dore does suck. I like many others on here stumbled across this site by typing “Jon Dore Television show sucks” on google. And yes indeed it does suck, and yes I’m Canadian and yes he does try too hard to be like Will Ferrell. I’m sure his show is canceled now, but if not they really need to end it, same goes with that show “corner gas” (I just don’t get it)…..In all honesty the only thing that has made me laugh that has came out of Canadian Television would have to be “Trailer Park Boys.”

    As far as Canadian comedians, I wouldn’t go as far as saying that Canadians suck at comedy, it’s just that all the good ones end up leaving this country to pursue success in the United States, and to be honest I don’t blame them.

    Oh btw since I’m already at it, can’t stand that other Canadian douche that tries to be funny Garry Dee, I think he’s on “The Score.” Very unoriginal…….

  12. 13 ronnie

    ahahaha you guys are all too serious, take the poles out of your asses and loosen that gapeing hole, streatch out, rub your balls and laugh. the jon dore show makes me laugh, am i an idiot for that? no. am i a loser? nope, i have a super hot girlfriend and i have penis vagina sex with her all the time!
    unless your reading this using a wireless satellite laptop thats doubling as a cocaine tray while you tear ass through jamaican waters on a jetski while being pursued by an army of blowjob loving supermodels , your life isn’t nearly as cool as mine, or jon’s.
    the very fact that you’re browsing the internet right now means you’re probably a failure of a human being. there are plenty of people out there who are far too busy climbing mountains or taming sharks or building pirate ships to bother with the internet, and you’re not one of those people.
    guardboy12@hotmail.com 😀

  13. 14 Rob

    Wow, is this Ronnie guy for real? It’s not too often that someone reads something dripping in that much irony and stupidity. I believe you stated “the very fact that you’re browsing the internet right now means you’re probably a failure of a human being.”

    Really?! Are you shitting me? How the hell did you find this blog then, if not by browser, you fucking troglodyte?

    Oh yeah. I also found this blog by googling “Jon Dore sucks”. He sucks so bad.

    It bears repeating. Jon Dore sucks.

  14. 15 Candace

    I searched for this post last night so I could tell you that I was watching Jon Dore doing stand-up on the Comedy Channel and that he was actually pretty funny, and you that were wrong, wrong, wrong, Mr. Peter Lynn. But I was too lazy and went to bed instead. And I’m glad I did, because now, I’m watching The Jon Dore Show — or whatever it’s called — and it’s total crap. I’ll never question you again.

  15. 16 dr

    Jon Dore, you sucked on mashup.

  16. 17 isabel

    Jon dore is awesome, you people just don’t understand comedy. I bet you think modern family is funny…


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