The 10 Most Disastrous Saturday Morning Cartoon Adaptations

25Sep07

There’s a new article of mine at Cracked.com right now called The 10 Most Disastrous Saturday Morning Cartoon Adaptations, thus fulfilling the site’s mandate to provide snarky pop-cultural overanalysis in list form. But it may be more entertaining to just skip right to the bottom and enjoy the flame war in the comments.



13 Responses to “The 10 Most Disastrous Saturday Morning Cartoon Adaptations”

  1. 1 scott

    I immediately knew I’d be seeing your complaint about Slimer. That ghost has been drawing your ire regularly since the beginning and well after the show’s been gone. What I didn’t expect was hearing the Hammer Man song and remembering Jon singing “He reached into the BAG! And pulled out the magical SHOES!” or whatever the hell it is.

  2. Nice article! I hadn’t even been aware of the Fonzie one–even by the shockingly low standards of Saturday morning cartoon shows, that’s one hell of a stretch for a premise.

  3. 3 Peter Lynn

    I thought of Jon the whole time I was writing about Hammerman. I didn’t realize my objections to Slimer were so memorably strident, though. But, you know what? Fuck Slimer. Slimer is the worst John Belushi stand-in since Jim Belushi.

  4. 4 Peter Lynn

    Damn. I should have put that in the article.

  5. 5 scott

    I AM YOUR MUSE!!!!!!!!!

  6. 6 Adrienne

    Yet “Mr. T” and “The Amazing Chan and the Chan Clan” go unmocked. If only it had been “The 30 Most” there would have been room for “The Partridge Family 2200 AD,” “The Jackson 5ive,” “Kid ‘n Play,” “Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventures,” “Camp Candy,” “Gilligan’s Planet”…. Huh. I guess my mom was right: I *did* watch too much TV. I actually thought for a few years that I had hallucinated the Rubik’s Cube cartoon….

  7. 7 scott

    I’d never heard of the Rubik’s Cube one but I would’ve added “Pole Position” to the list. I wouldn’t have had anything funny to say about it mind you.

  8. Aha! I’m not mad! The MC Hammer show did exist!

  9. 9 Peter Lynn

    Adrienne: A couple of those did make the short list, most notably The Partridge Family 2200 AD. But I thought it was so much like The Fonz and the Happy Days Gang as to be redundant. But maybe it merited a mention in that entry. I’ll give it this, though: At least it was up front with its premise in the title. The Fonz and the Happy Days Gang gives no clue that it’s going to be about time travel.

    Scott: The one thing you can say about Pole Position is that, outside of the title and the presence of automobiles, it had almost no connection to the arcade game of that name. That might be one of those deals where they just licensed the title.

  10. 10 Steve

    you forgot “chuck norris: karate commandos.”

  11. Man, now I don’t feel so bad about the extreme hullabaloo over my Wikipedia article. Let’s get along, nerds!

  12. 12 Peter Lynn

    Matt: I meant to say that I loved the gratuitous pictures of Anna Kournikova in your article. I’m guessing that was a decision on the part of the Cracked editors, but it worked. And comparing the word counts of the Wikipedia articles to those of famous books was an inspired decision. It really put things in perspective.

  13. 13 Ian

    If the Real Ghostbusters isn’t awesome, my childhood is a lie. I begged three Christmases for a Ray Stanz action figure and my parents, despite objecting to the cartoon on moral and theological grounds, had to give in. For Halloween, I converted an old lunch box into a proton pack—the only time I was ever a cool kid. I almost got into a fistfight arguing that Ray was based on Bill Murray’s character (which of course is wrong; my friend was right to have almost beaten me up). I taped every late night showing of Ghostbusters in the hopes it was the (non-existent) cartoon adaptation. All lies… I’m going to need a moment.

    Still, I think NKOTB was worse. “Bizcut” should have been the dog’s name.


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