I said, “Eh, I know you, and you cannot sing”


“I’m going to take some classes,” announced my housemate Toula. “Public speaking and keyboarding.”

“Oh, typing?” I asked.

“What?” she exclaimed. “I wanted to learn how to play the piano!”

“Keyboarding is another word for typing,” I said.

“Oh! Thank God I talked to you!” she said.

“Heh heh,” I said. “Yeah, good thing.”

“That sucks! I know how to type. I learned it in business school!” She flipped through the course catalog. “Oh, wait! It is piano! See?” She showed me the catalog. The course description read as follows:

Piano Keyboarding-Beginner
In a fun setting, learn to play the piano. Various teaching techniques will be used. Classical as well as contemporary music will be included. Keyboard rentals may be arranged. (material costs: $10)

“Huh,” I said, scanning the page. “You can also learn the fiddle and steel drum there.”

“No thanks,” said Toula.

It turns out that she already took some piano lessons years ago, after her accident, thinking it would be a good way to rehab from her brain injury. I’m forced to agree that this was actually a really good idea. So, in conclusion, Toula didn’t make a stupid mistake. I did, and my punishment will be to listen to her bang out her tuneless homework assignments on a rented Casio for eight to twelve weeks.

5 Responses to “I said, “Eh, I know you, and you cannot sing””

  1. 1 Candace

    Well, be happy it’s not the steel drum.

    I’m glad to see Toula finally win.
    I’ve been kind of rooting for her since the whole juice episode.

  2. 2 Phil

    So she is actually brain damaged? I’d assumed for all these years that you were just being a jerk.

  3. 3 Peter Lynn

    A valid assumption. However, she really is.

  4. 4 Eric

    Huh. I hadn’t considered that. Anyways, is the post title a reference to something, or is it just a bit of randomness?
    Also, I don’t like the word keyboarding. It doesn’t seem like it should really be a verb. It’s along the lines of saying, “I really felt like penising after reading about the peanut butter-smothered threesome with Rosie O’Donnell.” Maybe it’s just me.

  5. 5 hilly

    Man, I really really really hope for your sake that Toula never realizes you have a blog and that you’ve used her as comedy fodder for, what, years now? I hear the retarded (sorry, brain damaged) have the strength of an ape AND NO REMORSE.

    Plus, have Jay and his wife stopped being mad at me for briefly ruining their lives earlier this year?

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