Knock, knock


Well, it’s just a good thing I wasn’t doing what some single men might be doing in front of their computers at 1:30 a.m.

I was playing a game of The Sims 2, trying in vain to make two dogs mate (so, I suppose in a technical sense, I actually sort of was watching bestiality pornography), when I heard my outside door creak open. Wow, is the wind actually that strong tonight? I wondered, looking over. There, standing silently in the darkened doorway, was a wraithlike figure staring at me.

Yeeeaaargh!” I shrieked by way of greeting.

“Is Marianne here?” inquired a female voice.

“Wrong house,” I gasped.

“Sorry, love,” said the woman, stepping back outside. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Entirely my fault,” I said, closing the door behind her and clicking it locked rather pointedly.

For a split-second, I’d genuinely thought that a revenant stood in my doorway, fresh, cold grave earth crumbling off it onto my doorstep. But it was basically just a wrong number crossed with a home invasion. I don’t have a deadbolt on that door, so I’m never quite sure if it’s locked when I’m inside. It’s a good neighbourhood, so I don’t worry much. A plumber working in the upstairs bathroom did blunder through my entrance a few weeks ago, but that was the only incident until now.

However, it’s not the first time some random woman has come stumbling in. Back in university, I was hanging out in my apartment, playing some video game with my housemate Nick, when a girl walked right into my room. In principle, you’d think it would be a great thing to have some random young college girl wander into your room late at night, but in practice, it’s actually very creepy. She’d wandered in the front door, through the living room, down the hall, and into the furthest bedroom from the front door possible, only to find she was in the wrong apartment. How she could have mistaken our squalid hellhole for a place decent human beings might want to inhabit is a mystery. But then, I suppose if she were in any way affiliated with decent people, she might have knocked before entering.

2 Responses to “Knock, knock”

  1. 1 Eric

    I love your way of greeting people. Do you mind if I use that for answering phones and whatnot?

  2. 2 Jackie

    when I was still in rez I had a similar random creeper encounter!
    Some drunken guy (not a student either) managed to get into the poured-concrete apartment-like building (aka prison) I called home at the time.
    He climbed all the way up to the 5th floor (there weren’t any elevators in the building) and proceeded to beat on all the bedroom doors he could find. It was about 2 am. I woke up, and thankfully my first reaction wasn’t to open the door. My floor-mate did. The guy forced his way in, but she wasn’t having with that. She forced him back out again and pushed him down the stairs.

    good times

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