Remind me to submit this idea to the Consumerist so I can be famous like my friend Sofi:

I figured out a way to get telemarketers off your back when they try to get you to change your long-distance plan: Just tell them that you don’t have anyone outside your area code to call. For best results, try to make it seem like you don’t have anyone inside your area code to talk to, either — no friends, no family, no one at all. Paint a picture of yourself as lonely, isolated, and starved for human contact. In fact, try to keep them on the phone as long as possible. Suddenly, they’ll be in a hurry to hang up.

I’ve tried this once, and it works terrifically well. I should have thought of it earlier, since my actual, legitimate reason for not having a cell phone has long been that I really have no urge to suddenly telephone anyone in particular when I’m out and about.

But I might have to get one anyway. My not having a cell phone means that I don’t have a camera phone, which would have allowed me to take a snapshot to one-up this Consumerist entry about a store special sign that offered no appreciable savings: I was just at my local IGA and noticed that Schneider’s Hot Stuffs were on special this week for $2.29. But when I looked closely, I noticed that the crossed-out regular price was $2.19. What a deal — for IGA, that is. That just takes balls on the part of the store manager.

While I’m on the subject of ballsiness, my comments don’t seem to post at the Consumerist for some reason, so I just want to add that although what this guy did is clearly wrong, I still hope he gets away with it. Maybe he can just put on a dark blue shirt and pants, stroll into the North Miami police department, and tell a desk clerk to cancel the warrant for his arrest.

Update: Speaking of being isolated, I picked up the phone to say happy birthday to my sister, only to realize it wasn’t working. I’ve got Rogers VoIP, and I’m not too impressed. Every time the cable goes out, so does the phone, so good luck calling to report the problem. And when the power goes out, so does the phone, unlike with a conventional one. When I finally got it working again, I checked my messages and managed to figure out that my phone had been out of order for around two weeks without my noticing. That’s just sad. Now I’m thinking of scrapping the land line and just getting a cell phone. Obviously, I don’t make a lot of calls, but this way, at least I’d have a camera.

One Response to “Would-be-Consumerist”

  1. 1 So this is why I didn’t miss having a phone « Man vs. Clown!

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