So this is why I didn’t miss having a phone


As I mentioned in the footnote to the last post, my phone was busted for two weeks, and I didn’t even realize it. That makes me sound like just the pathetic shut-in I’d been talking about earlier in that post, but it’s simply that I pretty well do all my communication through e-mail and IM these days. And so do most of the people I know, because it turns out that the only people who really phone me are the telemarketers I was just talking about.

I’m not even sure why I picked up for the first guy who called today, since I have caller ID, and that usually clues me in to when it’s a telemarketer calling. I made it pretty clear that I wasn’t interested in getting a new credit card, but the guy wouldn’t give up. He started talking, and didn’t stop. Every time I thought he was coming to the end of his sentence, there was a conjunction instead of a period, followed by more sentence. I was pretty amazed at his breath control. It can’t be easy to talk for about a straight minute without a pause.

When he finally stopped, I said, “That’s the longest sentence I’ve ever heard!” He laughed. “Well, goodbye!” I said. And I hung up.

And just as I was telling Candace about that guy, another one called. I was in the mood to mess with someone, so I picked up the phone. This guy was trying to sell me a subscription to the Toronto Star. “That sounds like a good deal,” I said, “but I have no use for a newspaper.” He thanked me for my time and hung up, which frustrated me. I never got the chance to make him feel awkward by saying, “You see, I’m blind.”

(Incidentally, my first thought was to claim I was illiterate, which would therefore have made me a better prospective customer for the Toronto Sun.)

2 Responses to “So this is why I didn’t miss having a phone”

  1. 2 Erin

    You made me belly laugh in a very quiet, very full computer
    room. Good job!

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