I’m more familiar with Canada’s Other National Newspaper


Telemarketer: Hello sir, I’m calling on behalf of the Globe and Mail. Have you read a copy lately?

Me: No, I haven’t.

Telemarketer: Are you familiar with the Globe and Mail, sir?

Me: No, I’m not.

Telemarketer: Well, sir, we’ve launched a brand-new redesign of the paper and added a special lifestyle section to complement our same award-winning reporting, and we’d like to offer you a special introductory offer of home delivery with a big discount off the newsstand price.

Me: Well, I’m not much of a magazine reader.

Telemarketer: Oh, no, sir. The Globe and Mail is a newspaper.

Me: Is it?

Telemarketer: You’ve never heard of it?

Me: Oh, well, I’m not much of a reader.

5 Responses to “I’m more familiar with Canada’s Other National Newspaper”

  1. 1 Transcience

    You didn’t explicitly tell him you’re illiterate this time. That’s progress. Let me know when you’re ready for some Boxcar Children novels.

  2. 2 Peter Lynn

    My Facebook profile picture right now is a photo of me reading a newspaper, which would provide somewhat damning evidence of my literacy. So that excuse is out the window.

  3. 3 Scott

    How will you hold open the paper when you DON’T HAVE ANY ARMS?!?!?

  4. “I don’t have any arms, you insensitive clod! They were sheared off by a newspaper printing press!”

    I suppose that if I used the “I don’t have any arms” excuse, the pertinent question would be “Then how are you holding the phone?” Of course, I could just claim I was using speakerphone or a Bluetooth earpiece.

  5. 5 Rightbug

    One time I acted very excited when the local newspaper called me and I asked him if they had a braille edition. There was a long pause while the sales person went and asked his supervisor, then the supervisor came and got on the line. “You’re looking for a braille edition of the newspaper sir?” “Yes, because I’m blind but I would love to get your paper if you have a braille edition.” He was very apologetic that they did not offer a braille edition at this time.

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