Things I shouldn’t have said #37

  • “Am I the only man here? … Oh, wait. No, there’s one. And there. For a minute there, I thought I was in charge!”
  • “I guess since your mother fed us both so much for Thanksgiving, we should probably keep the lights out tonight.”
  • “We should buy a sex pumpkin. Of all the fruits for cutting a hole in and having sex with, the pumpkin’s gotta be up there, with all those squishy insides. You could really mouth-rape a jack o’lantern. Just really skull-fuck it. And after you make Jack Pumpkinhead your prison-bitch, you can kick his face in.”

Bonus thing my girlfriend shouldn’t have said:

  • [upon entering a shop full of latex Hallowe’en masks] “It smells like a condom factory in here.”

2 Responses to “Things I shouldn’t have said #37”

  1. 1 Scott

    Your blog smells like a used condom factory!

  2. 2 Grant Downey

    RE : “Mouth-raping / skull-fuk’g a pumpkin & kicking it’s face in” …… Ideas such as this on Man vs. Clown will surely provoke some young deviant person to jerk into a jack o’lantern before launching it off a bridge. I’m sure fruitarians will have something to say about this, that perfectly good fruits are being caved into hideous death masks, raped, & kicked to death. But i guess it’s better to rape fruits, gourds, & blow-up dolls instead of real people, or the family dog.

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