Recent Facebook status updates about bad decisions

  • Peter is a bachelor for the next two weeks. Time to eat bacon at every meal! Time to sit around in my underpants all day. Time to wear bacon underpants all the time!
  • Peter shouldn’t have stayed up late to play NHL 09’s “Be a Pro” mode at the expense of real-life office work’s “Be a Professional” mode.
  • Peter could eat fifty Sausage McMuffins right now.
  • Peter thinks that if he did eat fifty Egg McMuffins, that would basically make him a fat Cool Hand Luke.
  • Peter is now definitely going to eat fifty Egg McMuffins to win the respect and admiration of others.
  • Peter is a real Peter Lynn.
  • Peter is eating candy for dinner and staying up so late he’s going to get cancer.
  • Peter just used an emoticon and feels kind of dirty.
  • Peter isn’t going to drink an entire pot of coffee by himself on Sunday anymore.
  • Peter thought that surely there couldn’t be any harm in just REINSTALLING one of his favorite old video games at 11 p.m.
  • Peter couldn’t stop himself from watching a YouTube video of a giant cyst being lanced and is now all stressed out.
  • Peter and his stomach now realize that just because his girlfriend wasn’t around, that doesn’t mean it was a good idea to eat two bags of Doritos for dinner.

One Response to “Recent Facebook status updates about bad decisions”

  1. I think if you ate 50 McMuffins, you would die.

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