Recent Facebook status updates about bad decisions
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- Peter is a bachelor for the next two weeks. Time to eat bacon at every meal! Time to sit around in my underpants all day. Time to wear bacon underpants all the time!
- Peter shouldn’t have stayed up late to play NHL 09’s “Be a Pro” mode at the expense of real-life office work’s “Be a Professional” mode.
- Peter could eat fifty Sausage McMuffins right now.
- Peter thinks that if he did eat fifty Egg McMuffins, that would basically make him a fat Cool Hand Luke.
- Peter is now definitely going to eat fifty Egg McMuffins to win the respect and admiration of others.
- Peter is a real Peter Lynn.
- Peter is eating candy for dinner and staying up so late he’s going to get cancer.
- Peter just used an emoticon and feels kind of dirty.
- Peter isn’t going to drink an entire pot of coffee by himself on Sunday anymore.
- Peter thought that surely there couldn’t be any harm in just REINSTALLING one of his favorite old video games at 11 p.m.
- Peter couldn’t stop himself from watching a YouTube video of a giant cyst being lanced and is now all stressed out.
- Peter and his stomach now realize that just because his girlfriend wasn’t around, that doesn’t mean it was a good idea to eat two bags of Doritos for dinner.