Here are some links


After weeks of chronic headaches, I couldn’t help noticing yesterday that the right half of my face had swelled up like half a pufferfish, which theoretically should scare off half of all potential predators, but instead landed me in the emergency room last night. It looks like an abscessed molar is to blame, but I figured I’d make sure it wasn’t salivary gland cancer, as I don’t want to end up like Roger Ebert (that is, like a Phantom of the Opera lookalike, not like an internationally respected film critic).

Five hours in the emergency room were not for naught, however. For one thing, it gave me the chance to endlessly recycle one of my favorite dumb jokes: a deliberate misquoting of a scene from Rushmore. (“I like your nurse’s uniform, guy.” “These are ER scrubs.” “E are they?”) And for another, I would never have otherwise overheard a thuggish, gangsta-looking, baggy-panted guy with a bandaged finger griping, “Man, I could be home watching Grey’s Anatomy!”

Anyway, that’s why I haven’t written much in the last few days, and it’s why I’m not writing now. Instead, I pass along for your perusal this collection of links:

One Response to “Here are some links”

  1. “Nancy,” said Gene to our makeup artist and emergency crisis counselor, “please bring Mr. Ebert a bookmark so he doesn’t lose his chin again.”

    There is no reason for me to have laughed so hard at that.

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