In retrospect, I probably should have stopped at “This call is being recorded.”


“Hi, may I speak to Peter Lynn?”

“This is Peter Lynn.”

“Hi, this is Karen, calling from Credit Alert on behalf of RBC Royal Bank. Just to let you know, this call is being recorded for monitoring purposes. I’m just calling to let you know that identity theft is one of the fastest growing crimes, and—”

“Yes, I know. I’m not concerned.”

“You’re not concerned about having your identity stolen?”

“No. Frankly, I’ve taken ‘Peter Lynn’ about as far as I can go.”


“I’m not planning on remaining Peter Lynn much longer anyway. If someone steals my identity, I’ll just steal someone else’s and move on.”

“You’ll steal someone else’s  identity?”

“Mmm-hmm. New birth certificate, new passport, new Social Insurance Number. Clean credit rating. Fresh start.”

“So, I take it you’re not interested in our identity theft protection, then.”

“No, not really, thanks.”

“Thank you, Mr. Lynn. Have a good evening.”

“You too.”

5 Responses to “In retrospect, I probably should have stopped at “This call is being recorded.””

  1. 1 Alex

    Points for style, but, yeah, that might have backfired a little…

  2. I miss your daily insanity, sir.


    May I cross-post this on my blog? Linking back to you of course!


  3. Actually, I only wish, when she had tried to let you go, that you’d tried to get as much information as possible from her about how they try to catch people. lol.

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