Recent tweets

18Mar11
  • Cake Boss is that show where you fight your way up the layers of a wedding cake and fight the bride and groom at the very end, right?
  • If the Xenu that Scientologists worship isn’t basically the giant flying stone head from Zardoz, I don’t want anyone to correct me.
  • “I am Torgo. I operate the thetans when the Master is away.”—scene from Xenu: The Hands of Fate
  • Alex Trebek: “Groucho said, ‘One morning I shot [this] in my pyjamas’?” Me: “What is ‘a huge load of come’?”
  • Due to my constant efforts to educate children on the topic, I have been dubbed “the Bill Nye of Pornography”.
  • My girlfriend: “Holy shit! Cut your toenails! You look like an escaped mental patient.”
  • Has Weird Al done a parody of Lady Gaga’s “Paparazzi” yet called “Playin’ Yahtzee”? How about now?
  • In retrospect, it’s not so funny that Mel Gibson raped Rene Russo as a practical joke during the making of Ransom.
  • A five-cent mustache ride is a really good bargain, when you think about it. Even a child can afford that.
  • Like Wolverine, I’m the best there is at what I do but what I do best isn’t very nice. But Wolverine wasn’t talking about ruining bathrooms.


2 Responses to “Recent tweets”

  1. 1 alburtise

    My girlfriend: “Holy shit! Cut your toenails! You look like an escaped mental patient.”
    -or Brian Wilson.

    • 2 Peter Lynn

      Well, I was eating an entire birthday cake in bed at the time.


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