The Banter Report


In front of my girlfriend’s laptop, open to Facebook.

Me: Did you see the plural form I wrote for “rutabaga” there? “Rutabagae.”
My girlfriend: Yeah, remember on the weekend, how your sister was saying you use a lot of big words, like “monotone”?
Me: I don’t think “monotone” is particularly sesquipedalian.

A mock punch in the face.


The break room.

Male coworker: … so, even if a probiotic doesn’t work for that, what’s the harm in putting something good in your body?
Me: I’ll put something good in your body.
Male coworker: I can only say that I hope you’re talking about alcohol.
Me: Oh, you’ll get the alcohol first.
Male coworker: It might have to be in a cloth.

We share a good laugh over my threat of sodomy.

* * *

The office washroom, where two of three urinals are occupied.

The boss (entering): We’ve got a full house in here.
Coworker: I can beat that. (flushes) I’ve got a royal flush.
Me: The only hand that beats that in here would be a pair of deuces.

A big promotion, probably.

2 Responses to “The Banter Report”

  1. 1 Scott

    Did you know that the word sesquipedalian comes from the latin sesqui– “half as much again” and pes– foot, meaning essentially “words a foot-and-a-half long”?

    (I didn’t)

  2. 2 Chance

    I did, and I say “that’s not particularly sesquipadelian” the time when people say something is a “big word.” I’ve been doing that for years and years.

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