Just so people don’t get the idea that this is nothing more than a Mike Love fan page, I present you with some hastily cut-and-pasted highlights from my Twitter feed.
- I shit my pants one leg at a time, just like anyone else.
- I feel like all every tweet by @denisleary should be preceded by RT @billhicks. Only fair, right?
- Because Rebecca Gayheart is pregnant again, a reminder: Always secure your child in a car seat while running over someone else’s child.
- Just saw a note on a coworker’s monitor that read “[NAME] will return on August 2″ and was very tempted to add “in ‘DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER’ “.
- I’m putting together a girl group/dance troupe called the Pussyfart Dolls.
- Girlfriend: “Why won’t you see THE HELP with me?” Me: “I just don’t like movies with Oprahs in them!”
- “Always see the good in goodbyes, and in this case, also see the ODB.”—Ol’ Dirty Bastard’s eulogy
- I’m going to start writing food-based parodies of Weird Al Yankovic’s original songs. Let’s see how he likes hearing my “Dare to Be Stew”.
- “All my horny friends are coming over tonight!” ~ Monday Night Fuckball theme
- Just farted four times walking across the parking lot. “That feels good!” cried Bon Scott into my headphones.
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