On Blueberry Hill
INT. ARNOLD’S DINER – NIGHT
RALPH MALPH is shooting a game of pool alone. He looks up to see RICHIE CUNNINGHAM swagger into the restaurant, loosening the knot of his tie.
I found my thrill … on Blueberry Hill …
How’d your date with Meg go?
Wordlessly, Richie reaches into his breast pocket and pulls out a pair of panties. He tosses them to Ralph, who puts them to his nose and mouth and inhales deeply.
Doesn’t smell like blueberries to me.
Richie reaches out to the pool table and rolls the eight ball into a corner pocket. He looks up at Ralph, cocks an eyebrow, and grins.
EXT. A HILLSIDE COUNTRY ROAD – NIGHT
MEG lies in the ditch at the side of the road, huddled in a fetal position. Her blouse is torn open, and a fresh bruise is swelling on her cheek. She’s crying.
INT. ARNOLD’S DINER – SAME
FONZIE emerges from the men’s washroom and sees Richie and Ralph laughing.
Sit on it, nerds!
INT. A HOME OFFICE – DAY
SETH MACFARLANE types furiously on a laptop computer at his desk. He pauses, leans back, and reads what he’s just written.
No, that won’t work. Meg would never get a date.
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