On Blueberry Hill

30Jan12

INT. ARNOLD’S DINER – NIGHT

RALPH MALPH is shooting a game of pool alone. He looks up to see RICHIE CUNNINGHAM swagger into the restaurant, loosening the knot of his tie.

RICHIE (singing)
I found my thrill … on Blueberry Hill …


RALPH MALPH
How’d your date with Meg go?


Wordlessly, Richie reaches into his breast pocket and pulls out a pair of panties. He tosses them to Ralph, who puts them to his nose and mouth and inhales deeply.

RALPH
Doesn’t smell like blueberries to me.

Richie reaches out to the pool table and rolls the eight ball into a corner pocket. He looks up at Ralph, cocks an eyebrow, and grins.

CUT TO

EXT. A HILLSIDE COUNTRY ROAD – NIGHT

MEG lies in the ditch at the side of the road, huddled in a fetal position. Her blouse is torn open, and a fresh bruise is swelling on her cheek. She’s crying.

BACK TO

INT. ARNOLD’S DINER – SAME

FONZIE emerges from the men’s washroom and sees Richie and Ralph laughing.

FONZIE
Sit on it, nerds!

CUT TO

INT. A HOME OFFICE – DAY

SETH MACFARLANE types furiously on a laptop computer at his desk. He pauses, leans back, and reads what he’s just written.

SETH
No, that won’t work. Meg would never get a date.



3 Responses to “On Blueberry Hill”

  1. 1 Keith

    Burn!

  2. Heh… Yeah, pretty much.

  3. 3 jason

    I dunno, Meg did date Mayor Adam West for a while.

    It could happen.


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