I have telephone skills
Me: I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for money, I can tell you I don’t have any. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you take me off your list now, that will be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.
Telemarketer: … what?
Me [screaming]: Give me back my son!
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