Archive for the ‘The 10 Most Dead People’ Category

Like most years, lots of people died in 2019. Here’s the 10 very deadest. Bill Buckner was supposed to be on this list, but he just missed it. 10. Rutger Hauer Every actor craves a meaty death scene, but few get a speech so memorable it becomes the first line of their obituary. The lines […]

More people died this year! These are the ones that are so dead that even the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia admits it.

After the carnage of 2016 claimed so many beloved celebrities, it was a good bet that 2017 would be even worse. And it was! This year dealt mortal blows not just to people but to the very foundational principles of western civilization, such as democracy, objective truth, and patriarchal power structures. Okay, that last one […]

As celebrity after celebrity died in 2016, again and again the cry was raised: “Fuck this horrible year.”

Many things came to an end in 2015. Our impression of British prime minister David Cameron as someone who probably hasn’t fucked a dead pig, for example. NBC anchorman Brian Williams’ reputation as the most trusted man in America, followed by that of Subway pitchman Jared Fogle. And U2 singer Bono’s ability to play guitar, […]

Well, there goes another annus horribilis, which is Latin for “horrible asshole.” And speaking of which, the Rob Ford mayoralty finally came to a merciful end, after that fat cancer on the city of Toronto was literally diagnosed with fat cancer. Jailbird plutocrat Conrad Black was stripped of the Order of Canada this year, the […]

Many things came to an end this year, including the marriage of Will and Jada Smith (though he’ll likely just recast the role of Jada with Daphne Maxwell Reid), the band R.E.M. (oh, is it New Year’s Eve, 1999 already?), and, ironically, the HBO dramedy How to Make It in America (henceforth to be more […]

Things that ended in 2010 include the original-flavour Law & Order (inexplicably prompting creator Dick Wolf to ask network executives, “Is this because I’m a lesbian?”), the marriages of Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag and Al and Tipper Gore (regrettably not followed by a partner swap), and the comic strip Cathy (which non-readers may safely […]

Among the notable deaths in 2009: the TV careers of both Jon Gosselin and Jeff Dunham, the scrupulously maintained virginity of Kevin Jonas, and the carefully constructed public heterosexual identity of Taylor Lautner. A lot of actual people died this year as well when the H1N1 virus became the most popular Mexican export since tacos. […]

Lots of people died this year. For instance, if you’re searching for chessmaster Bobby Fischer, look down about six feet. Russian novelist Alexander Solzhenitzyn died, which came as a surprise since we assumed he’d already died about a hundred years ago. And mountaineer Edmund Hillary reached the end too, though, as usual, his sherpa, Tenzing […]