Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Lots of things ended in 2013, the three most important being Breaking Bad, the Justin Bieber/Selena Gomez relationship, and the papacy of Benedict XVI, in that order. But lots of people ended too, some more so than others. Let’s face it, there’s dead, and then there’s really dead. Glee star Cory Monteith, for example, doesn’t […]


X-mas XI

08Dec13

Ten years of holiday music compilations is a nice round number to stop at, so naturally I did another one. For the eleventh consecutive year, there will be no “Santa Baby”. The point here, as usual, isn’t to recycle tired old holiday treacle; it’s to compile a collection of wintry songs you can listen to […]


Before I was a married man, I was a single man. One of the best and worst parts of that was having housemates; I used to live with a brain-damaged woman named Toula who, while occasionally frustrating to live with, at least made for good stories. Here’s a lost Toula story I meant to post […]


1. Formation “The only time this much havoc had been wreaked by this few a number of people, you need to go all the way back to the Horse Semen of the Apocalypse!”—Arn Anderson *** 2. Domination “That’s right, Tully and Barry might be out celebrating right now, but we are still weeks away from […]


“Who was that Greek guy who used to feud with ‘Classy’ Freddie Blassie?” “‘The Golden Greek’ John Tolos.” “Right. Not to be confused with ‘The Golden Greek’ Jim Londos.” “I think all Greek wrestlers are just called ‘The Golden Greek.’” “Except ‘The Golden Greek’ Spiros Arion, later known as the Iron Greek.” “Not to be […]


The world didn’t end in 2012, it turned out, but more than a few things on it did. For instance, there’s the Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes sham marriage. A brief but well-loved televised comedic star turn by a coat-wearing monkey (meaning, of course, the short-lived NBC sitcom Animal Practice, though there was also quite a hubbub […]


X-mas X

25Nov12

On November 1, the day after Halloween, Shoppers Drug Mart stores here in Canada began playing Christmas music, which is the most egregious example of Christmas creep that I’ve yet seen. Many agreed; after a heartening backlash from customers, the company agreed to cease and desist the holiday cheer (at least temporarily). Is it still […]


My left ear

17Oct12

“Hey, remember how I worried I was going deaf in my left ear?” “Yes?” “Well, I took a push pin…” “Uh-oh…” “And I jammed it in and dug it around…” “A push pin?!” [cringe] “And I cleared a bunch of earwax out of the hole in my left ear—” “Oh God!” “—phone. Cleared it right […]


Browntexting

23Aug12

Brownbuddy: My wife chastised me for texting while pooping. I told her that everyone does it … it’s called “browntexting”. Me: Ha. Added to my vocabulary. BB: The font colour should change automatically. Me: You are a genius today. *** BB: I’ve got a Pavlovian thing going on where I always think of you instead […]


I had a good day yesterday. I took the day off work and took my wife to see that new Meryl Streep/Tommy Lee Jones movie. Actually, now that I think of it, I had a bad day. I mean, it was all right if you like post-menopausal chick flicks. I was just about the only […]