Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

I had a good day yesterday. I took the day off work and took my wife to see that new Meryl Streep/Tommy Lee Jones movie. Actually, now that I think of it, I had a bad day. I mean, it was all right if you like post-menopausal chick flicks. I was just about the only […]


“What is it with you, huh?” asked Pappagallo. “What are you looking for? C’mon, Mel, everybody’s looking for something. You’re happy out there, are you? Eh? Wandering? One day blurring into another? You’re a scavenger, Mel. You’re a maggot. Did you know that? You’re living off the corpse of the old world. Tell me your […]


Scat Trek

09Apr12

All hard work by Stocc. Some contribution by Reterp.


Me: I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for money, I can tell you I don’t have any. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for […]


INT. ARNOLD’S DINER – NIGHT RALPH MALPH is shooting a game of pool alone. He looks up to see RICHIE CUNNINGHAM swagger into the restaurant, loosening the knot of his tie. RICHIE (singing) I found my thrill … on Blueberry Hill … RALPH MALPH How’d your date with Meg go? Wordlessly, Richie reaches into his […]


Bowl of soup

23Dec11

Tuesday morning, I grabbed a large Pyrex container of split pea soup out of my freezer for that day’s lunch. Around noon, I opened it and realized that it was nowhere near defrosting, so I put the lid back on and put it back in its plastic bag. Then the bag ripped and I barely […]


DEBRA MORGAN: Now, about this dead hooker. LaGuerta wants to just write it off as a fucking overdose, but how did her fucking sternum get cracked, then? Someone was fucking this fucking hooker when she died. NEW DETECTIVE: Well, I just got here, but the obvious suspect is Quinn. QUINN: What?! MASUKA: Gotta be Quinn. […]


X-mas IX

10Dec11

For several years now, my girlfriend has virtually forced me to continue my tradition of putting together an annual Christmas mix to share with the world. This is no longer true. For one thing, she is no longer my girlfriend, but rather, is now my fianceé. And for another, she couldn’t care less anymore if […]


Because my fiancée complains that I never post anymore, here is a transcript of a recent conversation we had after I’d worked an eleven-hour shift. This should either satisfy her appetite or cause her to ask me to go back to not posting: “Well, I’m tired and hungry.” “I already ate. I don’t know what […]


Recent tweets

28Sep11

Why should I blog when I can just post selected recent tweets from my Twitter feed? There are probably good reasons, but I just don’t see them! I believe women should have the right to abort fetuses that have Down Syndrome or are Italian. Probably the worst part of being World Menstruation Champion is having […]